There are some of my colleagues who isn't even Christians, but took leave today...SWT. Oh anyways, I couldn't get carried away and continue kickin' ass in my job. Many people celebrate Christmas. In fact most people you see on the streets celebrating Christmas isn't even Christians. They are just out there to have fun. But guys and girls, you all gotta realize its suppose to be a celebration for the birth of our god, Jesus Christ. For you non-Christians out there who haven't know who Jesus is...think of it as a birthday of the most kick-ass son of a God out there who bust his ass to save our ass thousands of years ago. At least you have to remember someone as cool as him, ya? Yeah, hail to the king of kings, the lord of lords!
It's surely a happy day for my stomach. Plenty of food today! We have this free ketupat + rendang this morning (kinda sux because not enough kuah...but yeah, free is still free), free goodie bag (it contains twisties, cheezel, julie biscuits , some wierd green japanese beans, Kitkat, Ferrero Rocher, Cadbury, Mango Pudding, Hershey's kisses) from my company, later we'll have lunch at a fancy steak house called D'tavern, and I'll get a free plate of some kinda spaghetti later at tea time, and free dinner at our church for the Christmas countdown celebration. My stomach is already screaming for this joyous day, after 2 weeks of torture. Had a great meal yesterday too, where my bro brought me and my family to eat some kind of porridge steamboat somewhere in Jalan Meru. That was pretty neat as I think porridge does suit very well with the steamboat stuff. And for you guys who didn't know, I can officially eat everything now! With an exception that I still need some time to chew and have trouble chewing mighty hard stuff.
Its a jolly holiday season, but it also means a season for theft and robbery. Sadly, its a true fact and it has already happen to some of my beloved friends in my church itself. Not only bad guys like robbers and thieves, even polices also are taking advantage of us. How? By pouncing on us when we beat traffic lights or doing simple stuff such as crossing double lines or speeding above the speed limit. Better be careful y'all.
So in this joyous season, don't let those sore asses kick your ass. Here are some tips on how to deal with them pussies :
Handling gay @ss cops :
1. If you did nothing wrong and the cops stop you, ask them what is the reason they stop you. According to law, cops must explain to the offendant why they pull them over. If they fail to produce any crap, then you can proceed to kick his ass by explaining the law to him
2. If they still don't want to let you go for no good reason, and trying to strip some cash off your wallet/purse; then take down their ID numbers. There's no law saying they can't give you their ID numbers. Jot down their ID numbers (names also if you can) and if they don't want to, you can proceed to kick their ass by reporting them. And if you have a camera with you, you can snap pics with that "lucky dude" and embarrass him online through email.
3. If you think its not worth it to bribe his ass, then don't do so. Remember that if he scares you with an original saman of RM300, its bullshit. 90% of the time, you will get discount of paying an official saman early. I've got a friend who paid his RM300 saman for just RM100 for being friendly to some fat dude behind the counter there.
Handling gay ass Robbers/Thieves :
1. I've rarely heard robbers/thieves without weapon nowadays. If they don't then you can proceed to kick their ass by bringing in a weapon of your own. Use anything you can get a hand on, including glass bottles, umbrella, sticks, sand, stones, high heels or just your plain old fist.Good if you carry a pepper spray, learn how to use it! If you are not confident with your strength, then you can use other stiff or sharp parts of your body such as your elbow, knee, or fingernails.
2. Where to strike them you say? Strike them in the face or the part below the belt of course! Even the most strongest guys have the weakest spot down there. If using fingernails or sharp objects, you can just rake or poke their eyes. Pepper Spray is not too hard to use, just spray them hard in the eyes (which will stun them for sometime). Of if you have other blunt weapons, you can just go for the nose (since the nose bones is one of the weakest bones in the body) or the part right in between the legs. Other weak spots of the human anatomy includes the head/face (in general), ribcage and the hand socket (armpit). Be creative. Show them who's the boss here.
3. Once he's down, remember to MAKE SURE he stays down. If you're running out of strength or don't have the strength, then just retreat. Of course if you do, you shall proceed to kick his ass. Don't let your guard down, stomp or kick him till he can't stand anymore. You can't risk him getting up and trying to fight back. Don't worry bout breaking his bones, paralyzing him or causing him bleed a lot, you won't get sued to kicking some serious ass because you're self-defending. Those @ssholes don't have the cash to get a lawyer anyways. lol.
4. If they have a really sharp object, then probably its not worth to risk yourself. Just hand over what they need, usually cash or handphone. If you're a girl, and they are pushing for more other personal stuff, then you have to start kicking his ass. Of course shouting your lungs out is one good option to call for help, but if you can't, then its better to fight back. If you have a chance to strike them when they turn their back or when they're not realizing it, please do so. But of course, at first you need to get rid of their weapons. In short, disarm them. Bite their hands or strike them on the wrists till they lose the weapon. Those pussies who carry weapons are usually weak without them. once you get hold of the weapon, then proceed to kick his ass. Show no mercy since he didn't show you any. You can just go ahead and cripple that @ss, and like the point I mentioned above, you won't get into trouble if you beat them into a pulp. Go ahead and enjoy beating the daylights out of them because its a rare chance to actually do so.
5. Of course after kicking ass, you can call the cops and come to clean up the thrash. And remember to take pictures if you can and share them online to spark the confidence of others.
Hrm...thats all for now. Might add pictures later if I have the time. Merry X'MAS !
6 months ago
2 comments:
Anyway, just a tip lah.. A person has five "critical" or weak spots.
1) The groin area. Give one big kick up a robber's balls and he'll be down in no time.
2) Solar plexus, its the area under the ribs. No bones. Hit there and it'll knock the wind out of anyone.
3) Throat. Nuff said.
4) Armpits. There's an area between the bones. Hit there and like the solar plexus will be very painful. But very hard to pull of so don't even try if you don't know what you're doing.
5) Last but not least and probably the second easiest area to strike, the area between the nose and lips. That are has lots of veins, but soft bones. Hit that area, bones break easily, which can lead to veins rupturing. Be careful tough. Wrongly done, you can actually kill the person through excessive bleeding.
Some kick ass moves to protect people..
One last tip. Unless you are pro, don't test robbers. Also remember, while robbers are "WAH" type of people with knives, they are more afraid of killing then you are. They only want money not blood. But if you push them they will draw blood out of relfex not intention.
nice.... haha~
for gals, please bring 1 palang go out la, then will be safer.
muahaha~
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